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How to ThinkIn the Age of AI

Before sharing a reflection, write 3 sentences specifying…

Before sharing a reflection, write three sentences clarifying what type of support you want—not a solution, but a specific form of assistance like 'hearing how this sounds' or 'identifying what I might be missing.'

When This Fires

  • Before sharing any vulnerable or important reflection with another person (or AI)
  • When past sharing conversations produced unhelpful responses — likely a specification gap
  • When you feel reluctant to share because you're afraid of getting advice you didn't ask for
  • Complements Share completed reflective writing with AI and ask… (AI-assisted reflection) with the human-sharing equivalent of clear prompt design

Common Failure Mode

Unspecified sharing: pouring out a reflection and hoping the listener intuits what you need. They guess wrong, give unsolicited advice, and you feel unheard. Both parties leave frustrated — you because the support didn't match your need, them because their help wasn't appreciated.

The Protocol

(1) Before sharing, write (or say) three sentences: "I've been reflecting on [topic]. What I need from sharing this is [specific support type]. I'm NOT looking for [common default you want to prevent]." (2) Support types to choose from: Witness ("I just need someone to hear this"), Mirror ("Tell me what you hear — does my reasoning hold up?"), Blind spot check ("What am I not seeing or not considering?"), Emotional validation ("Acknowledge that this is hard"), Analytical partnership ("Help me find the weak points in my thinking"). (3) Share these three sentences before the reflection content. This frames the conversation so the listener knows their role. (4) If the listener drifts into unsolicited advice despite the framing, gently redirect: "I appreciate that — right now I'm looking for [specified type] more than solutions." (5) This applies equally to AI: "I'm going to share a reflection. I want you to identify unexamined assumptions (Share completed reflective writing with AI and ask…), not to solve the problem or offer advice."