Replace 'interrupted' and 'ignored' with camera-observable…

When This Fires

• Giving feedback in any context (code reviews, 1:1s, performance discussions)
• Writing emails or messages about concerns with someone's behavior
• During conflict resolution where accurate description matters
• Any communication where the listener might become defensive

Common Failure Mode

Softening the evaluative word instead of replacing it: "I felt like you kind of interrupted me." The word "interrupted" is still doing the evaluative work — adding "I felt like" and "kind of" doesn't remove the smuggled judgment, it just wraps it in hedging. Replace the word entirely with the observable behavior.

The Protocol

Before delivering feedback: (1) Write what you want to say. (2) Circle every evaluative verb or adjective: interrupted, ignored, slammed, dismissed, refused, attacked, undermined. (3) For each, apply the camera test: what would a camera have recorded? (4) Replace the evaluative word with the camera-observable behavior. "Interrupted" → "began speaking while I was mid-sentence." "Ignored" → "has not replied since [date]." "Dismissed" → "said 'we already tried that' and moved to the next topic." (5) The camera-observable version is harder to argue with and easier to act on.