What does it mean that contradictions between stated values and actual behavior?

The gap between what you say you value and what you actually do is the most important contradiction to examine.

Example: You say you value deep work — you've read the book, you quote it in meetings, you tell your team to protect their focus time. Then you check your calendar: 23 meetings this week, Slack notifications on, no blocks longer than 45 minutes. Your espoused theory is 'deep work matters.' Your theory-in-use is 'availability is what I actually optimize for.' The gap between those two is not hypocrisy. It is data.

Try this: Pick one value you publicly claim — health, family time, creative work, learning, honesty, whatever you say matters most. Now audit the last seven days of your actual behavior: your calendar, your screen time, your spending, your energy allocation. Score the consistency from 1 (completely misaligned) to 10 (fully aligned). If the score is below 7, write down the competing value your behavior actually reveals. You now have two values in front of you — the stated one and the revealed one. That is the contradiction to work with.