What does it mean that other people's values are different from yours?

Assuming others share your values causes persistent misunderstanding.

Example: You value autonomy above almost everything. You hate being micromanaged, you give your direct reports maximum freedom, and you judge leaders who check in frequently as controlling. Then you get feedback that two of your team members feel unsupported and directionless. They don't value autonomy the way you do — they value security and clear guidance. You weren't being a good leader by giving them space. You were projecting your values onto people who needed something different.

Try this: Pick one person you've recently been frustrated with — a colleague, a family member, a friend. Write down the value you think they violated. Then ask: what value might they have been honoring instead? Write that down too. Sit with both statements. The goal is not to agree with their value but to see that their behavior was value-driven, not value-less.