Frequently asked questions about thinking, epistemology, and cognitive tools. 1703 answers
Give names to the different drives within you so you can address them directly.
Set aside thirty minutes in a quiet space with a notebook or document. Think of a recent decision where you felt torn — where part of you wanted one thing and another part wanted something else. It does not need to be dramatic; even a minor conflict like "part of me wanted to rest but part of me.
The most common failure is turning naming into a new form of self-criticism — labeling a drive "The Lazy One" or "The Coward" rather than approaching it with genuine curiosity about what it wants and why. This collapses the distance that naming is supposed to create. The second failure is.
Give names to the different drives within you so you can address them directly.
Even drives that seem counterproductive are usually trying to protect something real.
Even drives that seem counterproductive are usually trying to protect something real.
Even drives that seem counterproductive are usually trying to protect something real.
Even drives that seem counterproductive are usually trying to protect something real.
Even drives that seem counterproductive are usually trying to protect something real.
Even drives that seem counterproductive are usually trying to protect something real.
Choose one internal drive you have been treating as an enemy — procrastination, comfort-seeking, people-pleasing, perfectionism, avoidance, or any pattern you habitually criticize in yourself. Write down the behavior this drive produces. Then ask, slowly and without judgment: 'What is this drive.
Confusing 'legitimate needs' with 'legitimate behaviors.' Recognizing that your anger drive is protecting your need for respect does not mean that explosive outbursts are acceptable. Recognizing that your avoidance drive is protecting you from failure does not mean that chronic avoidance is a.
Even drives that seem counterproductive are usually trying to protect something real.
Resolving internal conflicts requires the same negotiation skills as resolving external ones.
Resolving internal conflicts requires the same negotiation skills as resolving external ones.
Resolving internal conflicts requires the same negotiation skills as resolving external ones.
Resolving internal conflicts requires the same negotiation skills as resolving external ones.
Resolving internal conflicts requires the same negotiation skills as resolving external ones.
Resolving internal conflicts requires the same negotiation skills as resolving external ones.
Identify one internal conflict you're currently experiencing — anything where two drives are pulling you in different directions. Write the name of each drive at the top of a separate page. Under each, answer three questions: (1) What is this drive's position — the specific outcome it's demanding?.
Intellectualizing internal negotiation without practicing it. You read about Fisher and Ury, nod along, then continue to resolve internal conflicts the way you always have — by letting the loudest drive win or by exhausting yourself into default inaction. The skill doesn't develop from.
Resolving internal conflicts requires the same negotiation skills as resolving external ones.
Let each internal drive express its concern before making a decision.
Let each internal drive express its concern before making a decision.