Frequently asked questions about thinking, epistemology, and cognitive tools. 1703 answers
Internal agreements need updating as your life circumstances evolve.
Internal agreements need updating as your life circumstances evolve.
Internal agreements need updating as your life circumstances evolve.
Identify one internal contract — written or implicit — that you made under circumstances that have since changed. Write down: (1) the original terms, (2) the conditions that existed when you made them, (3) what has changed since then, and (4) which terms no longer fit the current reality. Then.
Two opposite failures. The first is refusing to renegotiate — treating every internal contract as permanent and grinding yourself against terms that no longer match reality, calling it 'discipline' when it is actually rigidity. The second is renegotiating too easily — reopening the contract every.
Internal agreements need updating as your life circumstances evolve.
Acknowledge the feelings behind each drive rather than dismissing them.
Acknowledge the feelings behind each drive rather than dismissing them.
Acknowledge the feelings behind each drive rather than dismissing them.
Acknowledge the feelings behind each drive rather than dismissing them.
Acknowledge the feelings behind each drive rather than dismissing them.
Acknowledge the feelings behind each drive rather than dismissing them.
Choose an active internal conflict. Sit with it for five minutes and let each drive speak — not its demands, but its feelings. Write down what each drive is feeling and why that feeling makes sense given its perspective. Use the format: 'The [name] drive feels [emotion] because [reason], and that.
Performing validation as a technique rather than genuinely engaging with the emotion. If you're saying 'I hear you, but...' the 'but' erases the validation. Another failure mode is validating only the drives you like — acknowledging the feelings behind ambition while dismissing the feelings behind.
Acknowledge the feelings behind each drive rather than dismissing them.
Some drives should have veto power in specific situations — define these in advance.
Some drives should have veto power in specific situations — define these in advance.
Some drives should have veto power in specific situations — define these in advance.
Some drives should have veto power in specific situations — define these in advance.
Some drives should have veto power in specific situations — define these in advance.
Some drives should have veto power in specific situations — define these in advance.
Identify two or three drives that should hold veto power in your internal governance. For each one, write: (1) the specific domain where this drive's veto applies, (2) the bright-line conditions that trigger the veto, and (3) a concrete example of a past decision where this veto would have.
Granting veto power to too many drives, which paralyzes all action. The safety drive vetoes the career change. The comfort drive vetoes the difficult conversation. The anxiety drive vetoes the public presentation. Veto power is not avoidance power. It protects against genuine harm, not discomfort..
Some drives should have veto power in specific situations — define these in advance.